The
Big Bang Theory: Boys, Toys and Time Machines
Sheldon Cooper and Leonard Hofstadter, as well as their
friends Howard Wolowitz and Raj Koothrappali, certainly love their toys.
The Big Bang Theory group of nerdy-scientists have filled their
apartment with comic books, action figures and classic sci-fi replicas,
creating a decorum that would make any geek envious. While some may
argue that such obsessions appear childish and immature, the items actually
add to the character’s charm and appeal. Still, they are distinct
to a particular lifestyle, or so the season one episode of the CBS sitcom,
entitled “The Nerdvana Annihilation,” sets out to explore.
Leonard
is amazed that someone is auctioning off what he assumes is a miniature
time machine from the 1960 movie, The Time Machine, and that
no one has bid on it. The opening offer is $800 which, as it turns out,
was placed by Leonard. “It was a spur of the moment thing,”
he says to the others. “I figured it would go for thousands and
I just wanted to be a part of it.” As the clock ticks down and
no other bids appear, the realization hits Leonard that he is about
to spend $800 that he does not have. Howard then suggests that they
each throw in $200 and take turns displaying at their homes. “A
time-share time machine,” Raj remarks as they all agree to the
proposal.
In reality,
however, it turns out not to be a miniature but the actual, life-size
movie prop. It is delivered, fully assembled, in the lobby of Leonard
and Sheldon’s apartment building much to everyone’s shock
and surprise. “Who sells a full-size time machine for $800?”
Leonard asks when he sees it.
“In
a Venn Diagram, that would be an individual located within the intersection
of the sets ‘no longer want my time machine’ and ‘need
$800,’” Sheldon replies.
“It’s
actually a tremendous bargain,” Howard offers. “Even with
shipping it works out to less than four dollars a pound.” Raj
then adds, “Cocktail shrimp are twelve-fifty.”
The first
question is how to get their new acquisitions upstairs and into the
apartment, especially since the elevator in the building has been broken
for two years. “I have a master’s in engineering,”
Howard interjects in regards to the elevator. “I remotely repair
satellites on a regular basis. I trouble-shoot space shuttle payloads.
When the Mars rover started pulling to the left I performed a front-end
alignment from sixty-two million miles away.” As impressive as
his resume may be, however, he is stumped when it comes to elevators
and the gang is forced to push the time machine up the stairs.
Problems
arise when they discover that next-door neighbor Penny is running late
for work. She needs to get down the stairs, but the time machine is
blocking her way. “I have a simple solution,” Sheldon offers.
“Go up to the roof, hop over to the next building. There’s
small gap, don’t look down if you’re subject to vertigo,
and use their stairwell.” As ridiculous as the suggestion sounds,
Penny has no choice but to try it.
“Talk
about your chick magnet,” Howard exclaims when they finally have
the time machine inside Leonard and Sheldon’s apartment. “The
guy who lives next to me is always like, ‘I have a Jacuzzi on
my balcony,’” Raj adds in agreement. “Wait until I
tell him, ‘I’ve got a time machine on my balcony.’”
The enthusiasm is contagious as all four males are equally excited over
their joint purchase.
Leonard
is the first to test drive the item and sets the date on the time machine
for March 10, 1876, the day that Alexander Graham Bell invents the telephone.
Sheldon interjects that he wants to witness that historic event as well,
which would potentially make Bell’s lab too crowded, while Raj
points out that the machine only travels through time, not space. “I
have a solution,” Sheldon eventually offers. “First, go
into the future and obtain a cloaking device.” According to Sheldon’s
best recollection, Captain James T. Kirk from the sci-fi series Star
Trek first acquires a cloaking device on Star Date 5027.3, which
translates to January 10, 2328. Set with a new target date, Leonard
activates the time machine. As the dish on the back of it spins, Howard,
Raj and Sheldon quickly mime their way around the apartment, giving
the appearance that time has indeed been sped up.
“That
was fun,” Leonard laughingly exclaims once he has reached his
desired destination.
The excitement
is short-lived, however, as a battered and disheveled Penny bursts into
the apartment. “First of all, what you call a gap was nearly three-feet
wide,” she tells Sheldon as a preface to the problems she had
getting to work, which included skinning her knee, finding a locked
stairwell, taking a fire escape that stopped at the third floor and
being persuaded to eat lunch with the Armenian couple whose window she
then crawled through. In the end it was all for nothing, because by
the time she arrived at work they had given her waitress shift to someone
else.
In Penny’s
mind, the reason her day was such a disaster is not only the time machine
but something deeper. “My God, you are grown men,” she screams
at them. “How can you waste your lives with these stupid toys
and costumes and comic books and now that…” Sheldon thinks
she is having trouble identifying the object, so he offers that it is
a time machine. “Oh please, it’s not a time machine,”
Penny counters. “If anything it looks like something Elton John
would drive through the Everglades.”
“It
only moves through time,” the literal Sheldon explains. “It
would be worse than useless in a swamp.” This only makes the situation
worse with Penny, however, as she tells them that they are all pathetic
and angrily exits. While Howard, Raj and Sheldon immediately get back
to playing with the time machine, Penny’s words have an effect
on Leonard, who has been harboring a crush on his next door neighbor
since the day they first met.
That night,
Sheldon finds his roommate sitting in the dark inside their new toy.
Leonard has set the time machine for two days earlier and explains to
Sheldon that he wants to stop himself from ever buying the time machine.
“You can’t,” Sheldon counters. “If you were
to prevent yourself buying it in the past, you would not have it available
in the present to travel back and stop yourself from buying it. Ergo
you would still have it. This is a classic rookie time travel mistake.”
Leonard
then asks if he could prevent Sheldon from explaining time travel to
him, but Sheldon says no. “Same paradox,” he explains. “If
you were to travel back in time and, say, knock me unconscious, you
would not then have the conversation that irritated you, motivating
you to go back and knock me unconscious.”
Despite
Sheldon’s usual lack of understanding human nature, he still picks
up on the fact that something is bothering Leonard. “Here’s
the thing,” Leonard tells him. “Girls like Penny never end
up with guys who own time machines.”
“I
disagree,” Sheldon counters. “Your inability to successfully
woo Penny long pre-dates your acquisition of the time machine. That
failure clearly stands on its own. In addition, your premise is flawed.
In the original film, Rod Taylor got Yvette Mimieux with that very time
machine. In Back to the Future, Marty McFly got the opportunity
to hook up with his extremely attractive young mother.”
When Leonard
points that those examples are movies, Sheldon replies, “Well
of course they were movies. Are you expecting me to come up with an
example involving a real life time machine? That’s absurd.”
By the
next morning Leonard has decided to sell off all of his collectibles
to the local comic book store. “No more toys or action figures
or props or replicas or costumes or robots or Darth Vader voice changers,”
he tells the others. “I’m getting rid of all of it.”
“You
can’t do that,” Howard tells him. “Look what you’ve
created here. It’s like Nerdvana.” Howard, Raj and Sheldon
begin to fight over Leonard’s collection, making offers ranging
from dollars to rupees to two trees in Israel. When that doesn’t
work, the three try blocking Leonard’s access to the stairwell.
“I
did not want to do this,” Leonard tells them, “but I have
here the rare mint-condition production error Star Trek: The Next
Generation Geordi LaForge without his visor in the original packaging.
If you do not get out of my way, I will open it.”
“OK,
man, be cool,” Howard nervously responds. “We’re all
friends here.” At that moment, Penny comes out of her apartment
to see what all the commotion is about. Sheldon, brandishing a replica
sword from Leonard’s collection, confronts her. “You hypocrite,”
he begins. “Little miss grown-ups-don’t-play-with-toys.
If I went into that apartment right now would I not find Beanie Babies?
Are you not an accumulator of Care Bears and My Little Ponies? And who
is that Japanese feline I see frolicking on your shorts? Hello, Hello
Kitty.”
Penny understands
the implications of what Sheldon is saying and apologizes to Leonard
for the previous day, explaining that she was just upset. Leonard counters
that she was right and he needed to hear it, but Penny just ignores
him. “You are a great guy,” she tells him. “And it
is the things you love that make you who you are.”
“I
guess that makes me large breasts,” Howard mutters off to the
side.
Leonard,
however, decides that he still thinks it’s time for him to grow
up, and is going to get rid of his collection anyway. Penny seems impressed,
and her shy next door neighbor takes the opportunity to finally ask
her out. At least he starts to ask her out—before he can finish,
the entire group is interrupted by a muscular guy that Penny apparently
already has a date with. As the couple exit into her apartment, Leonard
pauses and then looks at the others and says, “My turn on the
time machine.”
Sometimes
a collection of toys can be a good thing afterwall.
Anthony
Letizia (March 8, 2010)
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