The Killing and Stephen Holder
“The one person who should be here tonight isn’t,” Stephen Holder tells the attendees at a Narcotics Anonymous meeting during the first season of The Killing. “It’s Liz, my sister. She raised me, you know? Sacrificed her youth for me. So what did this rock bottom junkie do to pay her back? Lied to her, cheated her, stole from her. This one night, tweaked out of my head, I broke into her house. And my nephew Davie, he’s seven years old, he’s got this gold coin. Real proud of it. I know that cause he showed it to me. He was saving up all summer to get this thing. And I go into his room and I take it. I’m walking out and I look down and he’s awake, looking at me. Just staring at me. And then I walk out. See, I don’t expect forgiveness. I know if it comes or not, it’s none of my business. All I know is that the only thing that matters is what I do to earn it.”
The various elements of Holder’s past are slowly revealed over the course of The Killing, including the fact that he was recruited straight out of the police academy and into undercover duty at the outset of his career. “I was working vice, narco and, I don’t know, I guess narco kind of stuck to me,” Holder tells his new homicide partner Sarah Linden. “It’s mostly street level buys and busts, you know, shooting, blah, blah.” It was while working undercover that he acquired his drug addiction. “Nobody put that pipe in my mouth except me,” he later clarifies. “Truth is, I love meth. Love that Cristy. Best old lady I ever had. My LT found out. Said he’d boot me out of county if I didn’t quit, so here I am. Happy, joyous and free. I finally let go, you know? Of thinking that I had any control, that I ain’t the one in the driver’s seat.”
Sarah Linden remains skeptical in regards to Holder’s philosophy of life, so he quickly expands upon it. “Let me break it down for you,” he begins. “My body’s my temple, right? But here? It’s a control tower. See, people be wanting to put everything in a box, get spoon-fed the answers, make everything black-and-white. Me? I see the grays.”
Other musings of Stephen Holder that are heard during seasons one and two of The Killing include:
“It’s like there’s two of me and one of them, he knows exactly what to do in every situation. The problem is, he always ends up in the same place. And then there’s the other me, the one I’m supposed to be. He’s just weak.”
“I used to think it was because I was mistreated, pissed off. Poor me, blah, blah, blah. But sometimes I think you just runaway just so someone will come looking for you.”
“No wonder you ain’t a pro. At being a moms, I mean. I’m just saying you didn’t have the blueprint. It’s like cats. If they don’t get raised by their moms, they don’t learn how to bury their caca right.”
“Perception is circumstantial.”
“JC, Buddha, lactose, ovo vegetarianism... wisdom’s all around, Linden. It’s like air, you just got to breathe it.”
“I know this farmer, right? It’s sick what they do to them chickens. And then he tells me it’s lonely on a farm. That’s why you gotta buy organic eggs because you never know who’s been inside of the chicken.”
“Empathy can poison your brain. It’s like elephants. I mean, they mourn their dead, go nuts over them. Pace around, piss on themselves.”
“See you found my knowledge corner. There’s a book store down on Jones Street, get a crate of books for a quarter. But you can’t put a price on wisdom.”
“Timing’s everything, Habib. You feel me? Your time will come. Like the good book says, an eye for an eye.”
“Ease up, son. Minimum wage ain’t worth fighting the po-po.”
“Think of me as your sensei in the bloodsport of life.”
Stephen Holder’s street sensibilities extend beyond the unique eloquence of his words, however, as his dress attire likewise exhibit strains of his former undercover police assignments. “That junkie in there looks better than you do,” his new homicide lieutenant remarks. “You should clean yourself up and put on a suit.” When Holder finally does ditch his trademark loose-fitting jeans, gray hoodie and jacket, the effect is even worse. “Did the reasoning that informs a dress code escape you?” the same lieutenant asks. “The idea is that the public can feel we’re competent professionals that can be trusted. You look like you donate plasma for a living.”
Even the suspects in the murder investigation comment on Holder’s appearance and demeanor. “Anybody ever tell you you’re white?” the former boyfriend of Rosie Larsen asks. Sarah Linden is likewise skeptical about her new partner. “You dress like Justin Bieber and eat pork rinds for dinner,” she tells him early in The Killing. Still, it is the developing relationship between Holder and Linden that serves as the true centerpiece of the AMC drama. Linden has just as much baggage from her past as Holder, and in the end these two disparate police detectives discover that they can only rely on each other during their politically sensitive investigation.
“You think you got this job because you’re a good cop?” Stephen Holder’s mentor and Narcotics Anonymous sponsor asks during season two of The Killing. “No son, it’s cause you’re dirty and everybody knows it. Crank head, low life, tweaker. You think anybody’s going to believe you?” In the end, Stephen Holder turns out not to be a “dirty cop” but a damaged individual searching for meaning and understanding. “He always wanted to be good at something,” his sister Liz tells Linden. “Football, break dancing. If you told me then that being a cop would be it....” That’s exactly what Stephen Holder is, however, thanks to his partnership with Sarah Linden and the compassion and loyalty she eventually exhibits towards him.
Anthony Letizia (June 27, 2012)
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